My Voice

        Josiah was a prince. His father ruled the land but led his people to wander in dark paths, turning aside from the faith that had at one point been cherished by the kings and their people. For generations now, the kings and their subjects had been feeding the lusts of their insatiable idols with unspeakably vile rites of human sacrifice. When Josiah was only eight years old, his father was assassinated. His murderers were put to death, and Josiah then inherited the degenerate kingdom.

       But then, something quite remarkable happened.

       While the record is scanty, we can read a few lines which mark an extraordinary shift in events. Whereas Josiah's father and grandfather are said to have forsaken the God of their father's and done evil in His sight, when Josiah begins his reign, he does that which was right in the sight of the Lord and turns "not aside to the right hand or to the left." (2 Kings 22:2) This is evident in what he determined to do in his 18th year. 

       King Josiah instructed his priests and counselors to use the collected admissions silver to pay those workers assigned to the holy temple, in order that they might "repair the breaches of the house". This sacred structure, intended to be a haven and a refuge from the world, had instead taken on its stain and been defiled. What wisdom Josiah displayed in making this his first order of business. 

       During the process of repairs, the high priest discovered something invaluable. Again, the account is sparse, but we know that somehow, this priest found a long-neglected book of scripture and delivered it to a scribe to be brought to the king. The scribe showed the book to His Majesty and read it aloud to him. I find Josiah's response very moving.

And it came to pass, when the king had heard the words of the book of the law, that he rent his clothes. (2 Kings 22:11)

       Tearing clothing in Old testament times was a sign of deep sorrow and mourning. This dramatic display served as a very literal expression of what the individual was feeling on the inside. Though the record doesn't state it, I can imagine the emotions which must have welled up inside of Josiah at this time. How could it have come to this? Hearing the truth from these ancient pages must have pierced his very soul. What anguish he must have felt, knowing first-hand the darkness, the corruption that had resulted from his fathers' disregard of these prophetic words. What a waste!
       His feelings were echoed centuries later by a prophet living on the other side of the globe:

And my soul was rent with anguish, because of the slain of my people, and I cried:
O ye fair ones, how could ye have departed from the ways of the Lord! O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus, who stood with open arms to receive you!
Behold, if ye had not done this, ye would not have fallen. But behold, ye are fallen, and I mourn your loss. (Mormon 6:16-18)

      But Josiah did not wallow too long in despair. He had started this journey by reclaiming the temple, and it was here he returned to offer reclamation to those of his subjects who would open their ears to hear, and their hearts to understand.

And the king went up into the house of the Lord . . . and all the people, both small and great: and he read in their ears all the words of the book of the covenant which was found in the house of the Lord.
 And the king stood by a pillar, and made a covenant before the Lord, to walk after the Lord, and to keep his commandments and his testimonies and his statutes with all their heart and all their soul, to perform the words of this covenant that were written in this book. And all the people stood to the covenant. (2 Kings 23:2-3)

       I feel a certain kinship with Josiah. I marvel at his fortitude. How is it that he who had been reared in a household of idolatry and pagan ritual, was able to recognize and accept truth when it was presented to him, even in such bleak terms? For, you see, the truth contained in the book of the law was not of comforting reassurance, but a warning of the tragic end prepared for those who disregard its teachings. Rending his clothing was no mere ceremonial act. I imagine that, for Josiah, this was the raw manifestation of an extreme anxiety he felt over what was to become of him, of his people. Contrast his reaction with another King from the Old Testament. When the words of the prophet Jeremiah were delivered and read aloud in this King's court, they were not heard or accepted with the humility Josiah had displayed:

And it came to pass, that when Jehudi had read three or four leaves, he cut it with the penknife, and cast it into the fire that was on the hearth, until all the roll was consumed in the fire that was on the hearth.
Yet they were not afraid, nor rent their garments, neither the king, nor any of his servants that heard all these words. (Jer. 36:23-24)

       I read these accounts and I ponder, how can I ensure that my reaction to truth is one of humble and determined faith, instead of callous apathy? While it can be discouraging to read how quickly the people often return to their sins, even after entering in to covenants with the Lord, I still think I'd rather be counted among those who raise their voices in defense and support of truth. For which is worse - to speak truth and see it rejected by its hearers? Or to never speak it at all?

       My voice might not be the earth-shaking epiphany that thrusts the world into change. And that's alright. Because it's mine. It is my gift and I intend to use it, regardless of its acceptance or recognition. My voice, my words, they're here for those who seek them. They reach out to inspire, but never coerce. I claim no exclusive rights to truth -- it exists beyond me. But I long to use my voice as its echo.

Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning:
And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. (Joel 2:12-13)

       Truth calls me out from the shadows I've lived in so apprehensively for many years. It sheds its light over any pain or confusion of the past and beckons me to see, to understand, to love and to evolve. My voice is only one among many. But it is mine. And I am using it, speaking with it, writing with it, singing, shouting, and whispering with it, to share my truth.