Right Here

    The first month of a new year is past.
    2014 started off with a bang for me. I love beginnings. I love the clarity and and anticipation involved in mapping out your dreams. I was looking forward to some exciting topics of focus for our homeschool, some intellectual growth with a college statistics class I've enrolled in, and more consistency with a "date night" for me and Richard. I was both excited and concerned after Christmas when Richard told me the Bishop would like to meet with me.
     In my church, the leader of the congregation (our Bishop) is the one responsible to extend certain assignments to members. We refer to them as "callings" since he makes the decisions prayerfully, seeking inspiration from the Lord to know who should do what within the ward (or congregation). I'd already been serving as a teacher for a class of children, aged 4-5 years old and was eagerly anticipating the changes of a new year which would place my now 4 year old son in my own class. Meeting with the Bishop probably meant I would be given a new calling. What could it be? I mused. Perhaps they needed someone to help teach music to the children. Ooh, that would be fun! And I'd still get to see my little ones, even if I wouldn't be a Sunday School teacher anymore. Or perhaps they needed help in the Relief Society, the organization for the women of the church. Well, I respected all the women leaders serving there. It'd be an honor to serve with them.
    Reassuring myself with these thoughts, I entered the Bishop's office the next Sunday.
    Young Women's president.
    When he said it, there was a moment of shocked silence. Serving as the leader for all the girls ages 12-18 in our ward had never crossed my mind. Me? Most days I feel just as clueless and insecure as a mother/teacher/student as I did when I was a paranoid, emotional 13-year-old.
    But after that split second of shocked silence came "Yes." Yes, of course, I'll do it. I will learn along the way. Which is something I find much easier said than done, folks!
    Maybe the reason I like beginnings so much is because of that carefree, anything-is-possible, child-like faith that accompanies the planning stage. My dreams are big, but they don't yet feel impractical. Fast forward a couple months (or even a few days) and living my dreams can become more of a nightmare! Where is my willpower? Where did my patience go? Why did I ever think this would work? I can't tell you how many times these thoughts have plagued me, even just minutes into the attempted actualization of my well-laid plans. But