Stillwater Wisdom

 "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am a contradiction. Spontaneous and thoughtful. Energetic, yet reserved. Dreamy, though realistic. Bubbly, but at the same time, grounded.

I'm sure most of you have felt the same way at times. It makes for some interesting inner dialogue. And it's not about good vs. evil - I'm not referring to the light and dark in each of us. Just the simple quirks of personality which make our lives interesting, though sometimes irritating. You see, I'm not philosiphizing over moral issues so much as attempting to choose the best of the many good things that are at my fingertips. In this information age, the vast opportunities we have can be both a blessing and a curse. Friday is open. Should I take the kids to that new indoor playground to let them release some of that pent-up winter energy? Or maybe we could spend the day inside building a pillow fort? Oh, or should I get a sitter and purchase tickets for a date-night concert? I'm not working with right and wrong here. I'm simply trying to determine what will be the most beneficial to me and my family at the current moment. Throw in some shifting pregnancy hormones and a sprinkling of unknowns (weather, illness, baby's due date) and you've got the perfect recipe for anxiety.

I've been thinking about this dilema for some time. First of all, I had to stop berating myself for not having more dramatic issues to confront. It was hard for me to give myself permission to think about this as a challenge when so many others are dealing with tangible, in-your-face kinda problems on a daily basis. My neighbor down the road is battling breast cancer. There's that couple on Instagram who have been trying for years to adopt and just had their 7th rejection in 6 months. Another neighbor is mourning the tragic death of her 4-year-old grandson. My "challenge" seemed much too insignificant compared with these tremendous burdens. 
Yet I had to realize that facing my own challenges in no way disrepects the trials of my fellowmen. I want to be a faithful steward of what the Lord has given me. If I neglect to pray over the things that are troubling me, no matter how small or inconsequential they may appear at the outset, then I rob myself of the precious gift of personal revelation - a gift I sorely need in my own life, and that will in fact enable me to be a blessing in the life of those who are suffering more severe trials.

I read the quote from Mr. Emerson and thought, "Yes. I know this is a very good time. I feel keenly how very blessed I am. I just need to know what to do about it!" I want to understand why I am being blessed so abundantly. I want to be sure that I'm not missing the simple truths God is trying to highlight in this season of my life. What I need, is wisdom. 

While I appreciate a thorough plan, aided by the conveniences of digital technology, I realize seeking wisdom will be more a journey of the heart rather than a goal that I can check off my list when completed. So I'm combining those seeming contradictions, creating practical to-dos to keep me focused, while at the same time slowing myself down enough mentally in order to exercise the patience needed to attain this great gift. Some valuable experience and knowledge are to be had in occassional sprints, but the wisdom I seek is only to be obtained through a marathon of spiritual endurance. 

In response to Mr. Emerson's musings, one of the spiritual leaders of our time, Gary L. Stevens remarked, "Fortunately, we never have to look very far to know what to do. With our knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father and the great plan of happiness, you have rudders deep in the water. Now, put your oars in deeply as well and pull hard and even."

So that's what I intend to do - cast my oars in deeply, and PULL. Pull steadily. Pull with all my might, as I navigate these presently still and calm waters. 

Whether your seas are boisterous or peaceful today, I invite you to join me. Cast off into the unknown, pull hard and even, and see what wisdom can be found in doing so.