Soul Carving

Most of my life, I've felt like I've been trying to figure something out -- trying to meet someone's expectations of me, or prove something to someone. Though, just what I'm trying to prove, what the expectations are, or who stipulates what success looks like has always been rather ambiguous and fluid. You can imagine, this produces an amount of anxiety; It's difficult to relax when you're constantly on the lookout for signs of nondescript success. What was it I was supposed to be doing again? If I take this route, will I miss it entirely? What exactly is "it"? Do I lose points for time?  These types of insecurities can quickly drain the motivation and joy right out of you. It's like you're on the clock, but you've missed the memo containing your job description. You're scared to move forward in case you're heading in the wrong direction. You keep yourself in check any time you feel the inclination toward spontaneity, or pleasur...

       I'm 32 years old. I've been married 12 years, given birth to 5 children, worked as a bookseller and a telemarketer, attended several years of college and lived in 5 different states. Yet, what wisdom I've gained thus far in my life experience can often seem lacking. Some nights I struggle to close my eyes from fretting over all the things I don't know or don't understand. I encounter trials, challenges that make me question things which I've always thought I knew to be true. I express my opinion and am met with opposition. I search for truth, and often times end up more confused than when I started the journey.        But, no matter how much I've yet to learn, no matter how ignorant I may be in certain areas, there are some things that I know for absolute certain.         I know that I am a daughter of God . I have heavenly parents who know me, love me and watch over me. They sent me here to this earthly training gro...

          We discovered a wonderful park, hemmed in by the regal mountains on one side  and an inviting creek trail on the other.        It was a beautiful day, filled with so many of the things I love. And it seemed Heaven agreed. Just look at the love note I found waiting for me along the trail. . .      I believe we all receive love notes along our way, though sometimes they're not as easy to spot. But I think I'll keep a sharper lookout from now on. On those days when nothing seems to go as I've planned, I'll open my eyes to the many coincidences that have taken place. A favorite song that comes on the radio at just that moment when I'm feeling I've been stuffed in the car too long. A murmured "thank you" from a grateful child when I thought no one had noti...